Work Text:
Currently...
WATCHING: Righteous Gemstones S4, Trek - SNW (S2), Prodigy (S1)
LISTENING: Ciara, Blu Cantrell, Aaliyah, Eve, Kalisway
READING: The Orange Eats Creeps - Krilanovich
TO-READ SOON: Hijab Butch Blues, Earthlings, Notes of a Crocodile, House of Leaves, Acid Green Velvet (upon release), Jawbone
July was really fun. I ended up really enjoying Artfight, even if there was a Lot of discourse and uncertainty I disliked about the event this year, and I made my first jewelry attacks!!!
My beloved, Spacephobos, Cybertron
My art style has changed significantly since then though. I'm finally learning perspective but not actually nailing it yet but there's still time! :D I'm mostly drawing stupid doodles with the pixel dot brush and doing limited palette challenges these days. I miss drawing "real" things, but I am struggling to focus more these days. I can only draw for about 15 minutes straight except on rare occasions. So, I started Beeminder, an app where if you don't finish your repeated goals (mine is 200 words/day to start with), it literally charges you money lol. That has been really helpful so far, but I only joined a few days ago as of writing this.
I really hope to start a real writing career soon? I have a VGen account now, but I haven't gotten any comms yet. I really want to make a living writing erotica since my income is so low on DAC benefits and I'm trying to save up money for Future Stuff, like... having kids... LOL. I have to start writing and build a following in order to do this, but there's a weird block. I think it's the ADHD but I think it's something else too, I just haven't figured it out yet? I have my own story ideas and I'm planning on self-hosting Ghost since literally no platforms will allow NSFW/Dark content, I'm also going to make a Smashwords but most of my stories won't be book length so most of it will go on the Ghost site. I have plans. I know the shit I'm gonna do. I just don't fucking do it ever. I will do it, though. I will get there because I don't have a choice and I want it so badly...
In terms of tech projects, I'm working on two sites:
- SillyMuseum, which is gonna be a secret for now
- FemslashClub as a real club, expanding Sunset to a collective of various different services, such as a bookmarks/rec list site, a Dreamwidth clone, PHPbb forums, and potentially more?
SillyMuseum will be my first public site hand-coded by me entirely instead of being someone else's software. I'm excited! I have a LOT to learn.
I've been inspired by my friend Brennan of brennan.day quite a bit lately. He runs folk.zone, which is a similar collective of sites/services for the IndieWeb. In his post "The Itch" he writes:
"Once I get to a place where I've built everything I need, then what? ... I ask myself what I want to do, and also what I can offer to the world."
I love running Sunset. I love it. But I can do more, you know? I want to make a real impact on femslash fandom even more than I already have. I want to show people that yes, femslash still has passionate fans and yes, we ARE making our own stuff, thank you very much, no we will not "stop whining" (actual thing someone said about Sunset!). I want to run ficathons on my Dreamwidth clone, make a rec list on Linkding, and do as much as I possibly can to bring queer love to fandom. To make fandom a positive place.
Fandom isn't really a positive place anymore for me, which sucks because I am so passionate about it. I have been told sarcastically "be the change you want to see!" so many damn times--well, it's time for me to listen, huh? I want to shift fandom back to talking about things we enjoy rather than the things we hate. I really do believe this is possible.
I feel like this itch to do more is why I've recreated my site so many times. I recently remade my site for like the 10th time and this will hopefully be the final time because this runs on the OTW-Archive software yes I am extra.
Of course, I also start my first year of college this month. So that'll be. Fun. I'm super scared, but also excited? I'll be majoring in religious studies with a goal of eventually getting my mDiv. The one field AI cannot replace...
I don't know what else. I get to see CupcakKe live soon in my city, which means the world to me because she's been a MAJOR writing inspiration of mine since I was literally 17. I'm excited for that. I'm excited for my future even if it is intimidating. I am excited for my life to improve. I'm FINALLY treating the main cause of my depression---severe PMDD--with chemical menopause and eventual surgery and it has transformed everything for me.
I have hope :D
See you next month!
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